Twenty Seconds, On an Ordinary Day

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  Image Courtesy: Wix

I wrote once about a line I'd carried around for years without really living it — that life happens in the pause. It took losing people during COVID to make that real instead of just interesting.

Since then, I've been trying to actually practice it, in small ways. One habit that's helped more than I expected: pausing for twenty seconds to just breathe.

It sounds too small to matter. But whenever I remember to do it — usually somewhere in the middle of a hectic workday, or stuck in traffic, or just mentally tired — it helps. I stop. Close my eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out slowly. Something in me settles a little.

I came across the idea in Atomic Habits, James Clear's book on small actions adding up over time. It stuck with me because it matched something I already suspected — that I didn't need a big overhaul to feel calmer. I just needed twenty seconds, remembered often enough.

I don't do it perfectly. Some days I forget entirely until I'm already three hours into being wound up. But on the days I remember, even once, it changes the shape of that hour a little.

I think that's the part that actually matters — not doing it right, just doing it at all, every so often. The pause I wrote about before was a big, forced one. This is the small version of the same thing — the one I get to choose on an ordinary Tuesday, instead of waiting for something to make me.