Learning to Let Go of Control (One Small Situation at a Time)

For most of my life, I believed that the more I controlled, the smoother life would run. If I planned enough, prepared enough, reminded people enough — everything would stay “in place.”

Image Credit: ChatGPT

Or so I thought.

But life has a way of gently — and sometimes not so gently — reminding us that control is often just an illusion.

One day, a seemingly ordinary moment showed me this more clearly than any book, quote, or motivational talk ever could.

The small moment that taught me everything

Sure — here’s a clearer, more engaging rewrite that keeps the same meaning and emotion:

It was a busy weekend morning. My wife and I were rushing through our usual chores, juggling tasks while also coordinating some reconstruction work happening downstairs. In the back of our minds, we were already bracing ourselves for the daily test of patience — getting our child ready for his bath. Toothbrushing and bath time feel like a mini battle every single day, and honestly, we lose our cool more often than we’d like to admit.

But when I walked in to call him, there he was — completely in his own world. Dancing. Singing. Moving at his own rhythm. Absolutely untouched by the pressure of what needed to get done.

While we were getting tense and irritated, trying to hurry him up, he remained carefree — completely unbothered by our urgency.

Inside me, tension started building:

“We’re getting late.”“Why is this happening again?”“If I don’t push, nothing will get done.”

I felt that familiar urge — to step in, to speed things up, to control.

I was just about to raise my voice when I paused for a moment — not because I wanted to, but because I was simply too tired to argue.

And in that tiny space of pause, something shifted.

Instead of reacting, I watched.

My child quietly started completing his chores, humming as he worked through them.

Yes — he was slow. Yes — it took longer. But he was doing it.

Without us micromanaging. Without pressure. Without tears.

That morning, we still got our chores completed — maybe a few minutes later — but with peace instead of stress.

And I realised something important:

Sometimes, our need for control creates the very chaos we're trying to avoid.

Letting go of control didn’t feel easy — it felt uncomfortable

Letting go of control isn’t peaceful at first. It actually feels wrong.

Your mind keeps saying:

• “If I don’t manage it, who will?”

• “What if things fall apart?”

• “What if people don’t do it ‘right’?”

But slowly, I began experimenting — one small situation at a time.

At work, I stopped rewriting every detail of a project someone else completed. At home, I allowed the mess without immediately fixing it. In parenting, I waited before stepping in.

And instead of things falling apart…

• I noticed trust growing.

• I felt lighter.

• Others had space to learn and take responsibility.

Letting go did not mean not caring. It simply meant:

Choosing peace over perfection. Trust over control. Presence over pressure.

The deeper truth I discovered

Control often comes from fear — fear of mistakes, fear of judgment, fear of the unknown.

But life is not meant to be tightly gripped.

It is meant to be guided, experienced, and gently navigated.

And the more I soften my grip, the more I notice:

• Conversations flow better

• Relationships feel safer

• My mind rests easier

Ironically, the moment I stop trying to control everything…I finally feel a sense of inner control — calm, grounded, steady.

A gentle reminder for anyone who struggles with control

If letting go feels uncomfortable, you’re not doing it wrong.

Start small.

• Let someone else handle a task — without correcting it.

• Allow a conversation to unfold — without steering every word.

• Give yourself permission to pause — instead of reacting.

You’ll notice — slowly, quietly — a soft freedom emerging.

One small situation at a time.

Final thought

I’m still learning. Some days, I still slip back into old habits.

But each time I release control — just a little — I discover more peace than control ever gave me.

And maybe that’s what growth really looks like.

Not forcing life into our plans…

But learning to trust the gentle rhythm unfolding in front of us.